Design Flaw

Back and forth, up and down, vacuuming each crevice, unable to sweep the floor instead because dirt and dust and whatnot just falls into the stupid cracks.

When I built/buy my wonderful One Day house it will not have any gaps in any of the flooring.
None of that bull-twang.

There are DVDs in that entertainment unit and books on that bookcase but there already seemed to be too many lines in this comic already :-P

Oh Good

Yep.
Turn on the tap.
Wait a second.
Water is usually hot by now.
Wait a bit longer.
Crap.
Hot water service is out.

Update: I lit the pilot when I got home after work and it's all working fine, dang thing just got blown out over night or something.

You Little Shit(s)

Luckily I got to it before it had set and it came off fairly easily but I am still angry and vengeful like a god of old.

Lazy Day

I was sleepy.
Then I was hungry.
It was a pretty perfect day.

Long Live Burlesque

One lady did a strip tease tribute to Poison Ivy.
There were dances to Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson songs.
One girl started out dancing to Black Velvet by Alannah Myles and finished by dancing to the Batman TV theme song.
A couple of burly lads flexed their wares.
A tall drag queen mimed the opening song, then MC'd the night and finished by actually singing a fantastic selection of Frankenfurter songs from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
There were a few other acts as well, it was a pretty full night.

Boot Time

Yes, I know they were expensive but you have to let them get a bit dirty and battered or your feet are going to fall apart on the trek.

Innoculation Time

Yep, getting them all done on the one day was a fantastic idea!
One giant injection in one arm, two normal size injections in the other.
Ouch.

Perspective

Yes, I know that it's different because emails and other thingies can turn up online at any moment of the day but the visual helps curb the impulse to keep checking.
I don't want to spend my entire life checking to see if something is happening somewhere else.
If I can help it.

Happy Snaps

No, buddy, it isn't.
Not for at least another hour it isn't.
The photographer was pretty thorough.
But we did go out for dinner afterwards and get him some beer.

In There Somewhere

Apparently my pulse is difficult to find.
Worryingly hard to find.
AM I DEAD!?

Cats

He likes to sit in my lap while he watches Simon's Cat videos and you can only watch so many re-runs of videos that you've already seen before so I usually end up twisting myself around like a pretzel to read or write or draw something while he stays in my lap and laughs at cartoon cat antics.
It's more comfortable than it looks.

Gnocchi

I've always been a bit hesitant of making gnocchi as if you get it wrong you get that horrible stodgy heavy stuff that makes you feel like you're going to die but oh my God, I've been converted! So tasty!

A Good Night Out

There were more dishes and I've probably got some of the ingredients' names a bit wrong and left some things out but suffice to say IT WAS DELICIOUS!
And Something Funny Happened On The Way To The Forum was great fun.
Sorry I drew you so poorly, Geoffrey Rush :-P

Extra Support

Why won't you ever let me have any fun?

Don't Do It

I think I can pretty safely say it would take your jaw out or disembowel you.
Those bastards are made of concrete and iron, even the little ones.

Redistribution

Oh gross!

I suppose another answer could be medical students who need cadavers to practice surgery on but I'm pretty sure that universities would have a ban on obtaining probably murdered bodies from a magical non-space for legal reasons.
I doubt necrophiliacs are much bothered by legal reasons.

More Preparation For Nepal

Stairs, you are my nemesis.

Discipline 2

I couldn't see the harm, he's only got tiny little feet but I guess it sets a bad precedent or something...

Vendetta

I mean, I was going to do that anyway but now I'm going to tell this overblown exaggerated story of revenge as I show naked photos of you at your twenty-first.

Evacuate!

Almost being tipped on your ass by a row of chairs bolted together and too heavy for you to hold upright yourself... Not great.

Pencil

It would also work on human aggressors.
I've seen the Bourne Identity, I know what to do.

Expendables II

Sometimes you just want to watch aging action stars kicking the shit out of people.

Swerve

Just to be different, today's comic is long! And starts at the bottom :-P

 

Why kangaroos and wallabies are suddenly flinging themselves into my path with wild abandon I don't know.

I do know you're not supposed to swerve but tell that to my I-don't-want-to-hit-a-wallaby reflexes.

Here's the comic sideways in case anyone wants to look at it that way.

Sunnies?

Yes, yes I had.

Good Timing

Wobbly teeth were the best, I used to mess with mine no end.

Round Two

Just a last check to make sure everything is A-OK before I head off to Nepal in December where I don't really want to try and find a dentist if anything goes wrong.

Empty Everything

I have spent WEEKS looking for these damn photos - because who wants to have extra spare passport photos taken when you know you already have spare passport photos? - and I finally found them in a pile of stuff I am SURE I've gone through before.

Oh well, VICTORY!

Freak Out

Leaving submitting your application to the last minute shows that you have excellent timing and crisis management skills and doesn't make you look like a scatterbrain at all!

Wild

I really enjoyed this book and waffled on about it a bit over here.

Cleaning Out The Closet

They're boobs.
As long as you're wearing a bra that fits and the shirt isn't ridiculously small or large, they'll always look good in a top.
Stop keeping clothes you never wear!

I think the basic rule is supposed to be 'if you haven't worn it in a year, turf it' and there are only a couple of exceptions none of which apply to me at the moment.
I'm just lazy.

The Perils Of A Wildlife Walk

The full story which wouldn't have come across very well with my limited space and skills is as I shall now sing.
There was an emu daddy with about five chicks, grazing away, having a good time.
As I was walking down at a safe distance to pass them I noticed a lone emu stalking along about three metres from me, keeping pace and staring at the emu daddy.
Emu daddy noticed lone emu.
Their necks puffed up like toilet brushes.
Emu daddy came charging out to chase of the intruder.
Then a local magpie who decided this was a bunch of bullshit started swooping the both of them.
With this backup emu daddy managed to see lone emu off and return to his chicks.
I only had to run a couple of metres to the right to make sure I wouldn't be in the path of the retreating lone emu or catch the eye of the now hyper-alert emu daddy but good God, you do not want one of those things running at you.
It would be like being kicked to death by a velociraptor.

There are depressingly few pictures on a quick image search of fighting emus but here's a good one.