Thanks Guys

Luckily I had enough bags, carrying them whilst continuing to walk two dogs was no barrel of laughs though...

Game Over

I don't get hypochondriac-y enough to actually do anything about it.
I just assume the worst and then get over it and wander off and keep doing whatever I was doing.
So hopefully I wasn't having a heart attack or a stroke because I feel fine now and haven't followed it up at all.

Heaven

Since I got sick a while back I have had to swear off caffeine* and alcohol.
Before now whenever I've dreamed of having a few glasses of something boozy or eating some chocolate the dream has automatically thrown me into a 'oh God, what have you done!?' panic.
This night however, my brain finally decided I deserved a break and I spent the entire dream rolling around in that cake like a pig in a sty.
It was awesome.

*When I've drawn myself drinking coffee it's been decaf, I just can't be arsed writing that every time.

You Forgot Step Two!

Sometimes you just can't stop yourself from doing something stupid.
You see your hand start to move, you realise what you're doing and you do it anyway.

Awkward

This has happened more than once.
I'll see a picture of some guy in a newspaper or on the TV and have went 'oh, he's rather nice' and then I find out he's done something awful :-/
This doesn't indicate that I've got a thing for sociopaths because I'm not attracted to the gross looking ones, it's just indicative of my having terrible timing because I always manage to catch sight of them when there is no text indicating what they've done or when I've got the TV muted so I'm not hearing their story.

Imperfect Logic

I mean, sure I'd probably also have to be someone's bitch but really how much time could that take up?
So most of my days could be spent prison sculpting my abs and reading, right?

Time's Up

For maybe an hour I'm happy to look at shoes and clothes and shit but unless I'm in a book store, a store that sells DVDs and CDs, or a comic book store, that's it.
After that one hour I start to get bored, very quickly after that I start to regress into childhood and start whining 'Are we done yet?' to whoever it is that I'm with who is the only reason I am still there and haven't bogged off to read a book.

Unfinished Business

I couldn't just make another one.
The likelihood of me getting the water-to-coffee ratio, milk and sugar all exactly right two times in one day is not very high and anything other than that perfection would just be a mockery.

I Know You Aren't Telling Me It's Free...

In Australia you just wouldn't think someone giving you the thumbs up was indicating the number one, it's not only the last thought on your mind, it doesn't even get there.
The pointer finger handles number one! You only use the thumb as a last resort when you get all the way up to five!
Apparently in different parts of Europe this is common and they sort of stare at you in quiet sympathetic frustration as you squint at them, smiling desperately.

Pros And Cons

Spoiler Alert: I didn't book in to go to a life coaching seminar.

Maybe I Should Clear Out My Pockets More Often

I guess I could amalgamate all the lists and just buy everything to be safe...

Tech Wizard

Yep, I'm a genius.

Discipline

Yep, I'm a role model n shit!

Pep Talk

Yeah, that's what I need to hear. About people who died.
Oh, they died because they did stupid things with poor support and no health supervision? Oh well I'm not going to do that.
It's still super awesome you told me that great story though.
Thanks!

FX

I don't care if I'm in the middle of a restaurant, if a story requires a sound effect the story gets a sound effect!

Slipstream

They run past you and there is a scent vacuum until a moment later when WHAM!
Cologne and/or sweat!

Chilly

Ladies, if you own a synthetic material bra with no padding then you know what I'm talking about.
Gents, imagine putting on a pair of close fitting briefs made of ice.

No Touchies

I have no idea why but we just don't want to do anything with it.
Someone suggested that we just put it in the charity jar at work and we all said that was a good idea but it's still there.
No-one wants to be the one that picks it up because then everyone will wonder if someone has taken it.
It's a ten cent coin, for pete's sake!

So Close

This is the main bathroom, the fact that no-one walked on in me is almost a miracle!

Support

I certainly don't need any encouragement or a book deal. I just need someone to talk me down every now and then.

Occupational Health And-Oh Jesus!

A split-second between me thinking about balancing something there, reaching for something here, using just one hand to do something here, and my brain has put together a high quality, full colour production that usually is graphic enough to make me make a face that would look right at home in a Hieronymous Bosch painting.

First In First Out

I have a fairly overactive imagination that was even worse when I was a child.
The faint remaining notion that inanimate objects can have their feelings hurt by queue jumpers doesn't actually guide by actions but the memory does pop into my head every now and then.

No, I can't use that one, I just bought it. The other ones are supposed to go first.

Mental Decline

Unlock car.
Put keys in pocket.
Get in car.
Put on seatbelt.
Reach for ignition.
Realise key isn't there.
Have to work keys out of pocket whilst face-palming.

Nothing Works Experience

I didn't get to 'shoe horn time' or anything but bending over and standing on one leg at the same time was definitely out for a little while.

Well What Do You Know?

I probably wouldn't be quite this cool.
Once I'd established I wasn't being punked I would probably get rather emotional about the fact someone had been murdered, though I would leave myself some leeway to either be sad for a life cut short or get with the righteous anger if the victim turned out to be a terrible bastard.
Until the reality settled in though - possibly days later, I process events slowly - I'd be all logic and mild interest.

"Huh, guess I'd better call the police. There goes the rest of the day I expect. Better not touch anything. I wonder if I should take photos with my phone to preserve evidence just in case someone else turns up and wrecks the scene. But if I do that will they confiscate my phone as evidence? Because that would be shitty."

Close Call

I don't get many people dropping in unannounced so I tend to stroll about doing whatever I feel like in a way that could provide some rather embarrassing situations.

Deliberately Obtuse

What with being raised in an extended and immediate family that likes word play and being a smug ass, there was never much hope for me.

Pronunciation

I know animal vocalisations/'language' doesn't work like that but it would be funny if it did...

Stylish Sociopath

I could actually understand a good deal of what Bane said and only missed bits when the bass was too high in the cinema or if I got distracted by his bitching jacket.

Filler

There's just a couple of questions or details holding up the next round of assignments and until they're cleared it's all busy work for me. Bleh.

Sensory Immersion

The recipe is here if you want to give it a shot.