Hazardous Tum

No, don't turn around!

Swoon!

Swooooooooooooooon!

Behold!

You guys have seen this one, right?
You hold up the pointer finger on each hand, then smack your hands together and one finger 'magically' jumps to the next hand so that there are two fingers up on that hand.

It Can Never Be

I can't break up a happy home.

Just Walk Away

It's too late for me, save yourselves.

The Difference

The non-fiction book was a gruelling trek across the desert with no water.
The fiction book was a skip across a spring time meadow!

To Die For

Such lovely lovely clothes.

Habits

That and whining when someone won't take me for a walk.

Eject Button

I have no idea why that happened!
Of course it might have something to do with all the times I've dropped it...
Down the stairs...
And how I stepped on it recently...

But I'd Look Sexy With An Eyepatch

Safety Note: Do not carry a knife POINTING UPWARDS in the same hand as your mug if you are likely to take a sip from your mug.

Something's Not Right

It wasn't my alarm, it was a big-rig truck backing up. It was 2:30am 0_0
I went back to bed.

The Question

How long would it take for me to be sure? It already feels like an eternity.

Downwards-Facing Knock That Off!

What is it with you and hair?

The Margin Of Error

Any higher than that and you're doing a Sharon Stone every time you sit down.

Land Ho, Sea Ho, Ho Ho...

Now if I'm ever drafted into the merchant Navy, I'll be ready!

Oh, Jeff...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Coupling is like Friends if Friends were actually funny!

Pantstastrophe

I've lost a bit of weight recently and some of my pants try to slip off when I sit down. Or bend. Or wear them...

Ugh!

Puffy puffy gross face!

Are You Making Fun Of Me?

Are you?!

Happiness Is Helium-Filled

My friend's kids are at the 'science' stage of childhood and they scientifically tied balloons to all of their toys to see which ones they could get to float :-D

Telephone Tidy Time?

Honestly, I'm impressed my phone has room for all of those messages and hasn't started complaining about them yet.

Uncanny

So it's either time for a new laptop or, more probably, a weight lifting program.

Jeez, Brain, That's Dark

Where did that come from?

Lift With Your Knees, Complain From Your Diaphragm

Safety first, people.

From Your Loving Children

No I didn't forget to draw cutlery. The cutlery is in one of those boxes.

Unforgiven

Look, I'm sorry I went away but it isn't like you weren't fed and played with! Sure, maybe they didn't let you roll in their hair but you shouldn't take things like that for granted.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

It's amazing how naked you can feel without various bits of jewellery. It was a relief to put that ring back on.

My Own...

Can you imagine how bad I would be if I'd actually bought the ring? The possessiveness? The unacknowledged concern that Sauron may actually be looking for me...

NZ Trip: Day Eight

Pledge Your Allegiance! Especially before picnics!

NZ Trip: Day Seven

STOP BANGING ON THE GLASS, DICKBAGS!

All Lord of the Rings, all the time! (Except the little sheep and the kiwi I guess...)

NZ Trip: Day Six

Best. Day. EVER!!!

They rebuilt Hobbiton to shoot The Hobbit so instead of empty house frames, we got to see a fully made up and absolutely amazing Hobbiton that looks like the hobbits have all just nipped out for a picnic!